I want to tell you a story today…
The story is about a woman in her early 20’s. Her name is Maya.
All through Maya’s life she has been a very beautiful woman. She never really thought of it that way, but she had a beautiful face, gorgeous eyes and smile and her body was beautiful! Men were drooling over her like you cannot believe. She could have just about any guy she wanted, but she never actually realized it herself. All she knew was that life was fairly easy. She didn’t have to worry about what to wear, or how she looks in something. Really almost everything used to sit nice on her, and that was good enough. She was a vibrant person, with a bubbly personality, she was confident in herself and loved life and all the adventures that came with it.
Maya went through some ups and very tough downs in her life and she started turning to food for comfort. She didn’t really think about the fact that she would gain weight, because she’s always been able to eat whatever she wanted and her weight was fine. But what she didn’t realize is eating whatever you want and comfort eating are two different things.
She started gaining weight, little by little. She noticed her pants are a bit tight, and she thought, “oh well, it’s time for some new jeans anyway.” The thought of laying off the “comfort eating” didn’t even cross her mind. And why would it? Comfort eating was created to numb all negative thoughts and to soothe ones soul. It was never something “negative” in her mind, Only good. And this went on and on, untreated. And one day she woke up and looked in the mirror. And what she saw was someone completely different standing in front of her. Someone she didn’t recognize.
She suddenly saw the fat rolls, the big stomach, the wide thighs and the cellulite. She looked at her face and started crying. What was once a beautiful face is now a round one with a double chin. She looked completely different. She realized in that moment that she went 4 sizes up in clothes without her even really noticing. She has numbed herself so much; she didn’t realize what she had done to herself until it was too late. She lifted her nighty up and saw the stretch marks over her stomach. And it all was just too much for her to handle.
So what happened?
She stopped being confident. Suddenly all her overwhelming insecurities from that morning has swept in and taken over her life. Every time she’s in public, she wonders what people are thinking when they look at her. She wonders if any of her fat rolls are showing and she pulls-pulls-pulls on her shirts. She goes to the clothing store to buy clothes and hates everything she sees and buys clothes that do not look good, but she decides that it’s good enough because it at least hides all the fat rolls and embarrassing marks.
She goes home after her traumatic day at the shops and she feels miserable. And she grabs on to the only thing she knows brings her comfort and soothes her soul. She comfort eats…. Except afterwards she realizes that this is the reason she has become so overweight, so she hates herself for just eating all of the wrong stuff. And vows that tomorrow will be different. That tomorrow, come hell or high-water, she will not comfort eat. She will be healthy.
So the next day she starts becoming obsessed with eating healthy and losing weight. She starts looking up all sorts of different diets. And she decides to start her chosen diet the next day. But before she starts, she should get her “fix” and she goes home feeling happy about her decision and comfort eats. This time with no guilt, because she made the decision to start a diet tomorrow.
So the next day arrives and she starts her diet. She absolutely hates it and all she wants is to eat a big fat slab of chocolate. At this point she is so sensitive and emotional that anything could set her over the edge, and it did.
When she got home she grabbed the big slab of chocolate she stashed away (to forget about it) and ate it without even thinking twice. When it was done she looked at the rapper and realized that she didn’t even savour it, she just gulped down the chocolate as quickly as she could. She couldn’t even really remember what it tasted like.
At that point she realized that she had failed her attempt at losing weight. She felt depressed, fed up and just wanted to cry. She realized that losing weight was going to be much harder than she thought it would be and she gives in to comfort food for the rest of the night, vowing that she will start again tomorrow.
And so this went on and on, one failed attempt after another. And every time she fails, the comfort eating seems to get worse. And afterwards she hates herself for failing, for comfort eating and the fact that she couldn’t stop herself. It seemed impossible. It affected her life. She started thinking that she is a failure. That she couldn’t do anything, that she didn’t have the will power to achieve any goal. She looked in the mirror every day and hated what she saw. She was never happy about it all. All her confidence was lost. She went from being bubbly to being so self conscious, like she didn’t have a right to be confident. She wanted to be unseen. It changed her way of thinking and it infected her whole life, from the way she dresses and looks after herself, to her love life, even her goals and dreams were infected by this negativity.
Do you feel like Maya does? Has your weight changed your outlook on life? Or your personality? Has your confidence dropped ten thousand miles? Have you already made up your mind what other people think of you? Have you lost out on life and all of the dreams and goals you wanted to achieve? Have you lost out on fun times you could be spending with your kids or your husband/fiancé/boyfriend?
Well we are going to change this all! NOT because we are going to lose weight, BUT BECAUSE (OVERWEIGHT OR NOT) we are all beautiful and we are all unique! We are so much more than just our weight!! Looking at yourself in a negative way and allowing any negative thoughts to filter into the rest of your life just because you are overweight is a very one dimensional way to look at yourself, don’t you think?
If I am who I am, based purely on my weight, and then yes, call me a LOSER! Or a GAINER, whichever way you want to look at it. :)
I think it is time we put our foot down, not just for the society out there that put absolute ridiculous pressures on woman of today (we are not models, we are every day woman, with lots to do and very little time and money), but we should also put our foot down to our own negative thoughts! We are beautiful woman; we are funny, quirky, intelligent, smart, witty, bitchy, emotional, caring, and loving! A woman is one of the most fascinating things in this world! We are able to take the world on our shoulders and still be able to give to others. (men just shut down and crawl into a deep dark corner, ha-ha) we are able to take the world of pain just to bear a child, because you already love it so much, you will give your everything for it without blinking an eye! We are determined, and passionate! We are able to sacrifice in silence, when we need to. We will give our everything for a cause we believe in. we have a soft touch and we are BEAUTIFUL!
Why should we think that our weight determines whether we are all those things or not? Just because you have a few flabs doesn’t change ANYTHING else about you! You are still all of those things above! And don’t allow your thoughts or anyone else to tell you any different!
Go outside, smell those roses, life is really beautiful and we are sitting here, missing it because our weight issues consume our lives! NONSENSE!!! Go be your beautiful, unique self! Go be who you are meant to be! You have a God-given purpose in life! Focus on that! Focus on the good things and the beauty in your world, in your day and in yourself!!
And you will see, the comfort food, won’t be all that necessary anymore. You will see that you won’t want to punish and poison yourself anymore.
LET’S BREAK FREE OF THESE CHAINS!! Grab your friends and tell them they are beautiful, tell them what you love most about them! Uplift each other! We have too much negativity and people bringing each other down in this world. We don’t need it!
I have a little proposition for you:
Every night, before you go to bed (or whenever is more convenient for you, but do it at the same time every day) think of 3 things that went right on that day. Just 3 things that went right. It could be that you had a beautiful dinner with your family or something bigger like you weighed in and lost a few kg’s. It can be that you got saved from a near death experience. It could be anything. Just think of 3 things that went well. You will see your spirits will lift up and you will actually become more thankful and less negative!
Also think of 3 things everyday that you love about yourself, or 3 things that you achieved or did right that day. We need to be kinder on ourselves as woman. We can sometimes be our own worst enemies! So think of 3 good things about yourself or what you have achieved or done, every day.
Ladies, you are awesome! Now go show the world just how PHAT you really are!!
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